How asking daily questions is changing my life
Daily Questions & Active Questions
One life-changing exercise that takes one minute of your day.
I've just finished reading the book Triggers by Marshall Goldsmith, in which the international executive coach gives insights into the behavioural triggers that shape us, and offers up simple and practical advice to help us master our personal behaviour. I thought this would be one of those "duh!" motivational self-development books that I would put down after a few pages, but it turned out to be one of the most influential and life-changing books I’ve ever read.
“Life-changing” is a big statement, and I’m not saying that I had an epiphany as soon as I finished reading. No, this book will do nothing to your life unless you practice the techniques Goldsmith outlines in it, which I have been for the past few weeks, and will keep doing because I’m already seeing the difference it’s making on my life. Today, I’ll be sharing one exercise that I’ve found to be extremely effective for improving yourself and reaching your goals - the Daily Questions.
The technique is incredibly simple. Each day, you would ask yourself a set of questions, and grade yourself on a scale of 0 to 10. You can ask yourself anything, but here are some sample questions:
Did I do my best to set clear goals today?
Did I do my best to make progress towards my goals today?
Did I do my best to find meaning today?
Did I do my best to be happy today?
Did I do my best to build positive relationships today?
Did I do my best to be fully engaged today?
So, why do all the questions start with Did I do my best?
This is what Goldsmith calls “active questions” or “engaging questions”. We should avoid asking, to ourselves and to others, “passive questions” such as the following:
Do I have clear goals?
Am I feeling happy?
Was my day meaningful?
How positive were my relationships with people today?
etc.
See the difference?
Passive questions will make people provide “environmental” answers, rather than looking within themselves to take responsibility. For example, if an employee answers “no” when asked “do you have a clear goal?”, they tend to look for external excuses such as “my boss didn’t give me clear goals”. Active questions, however, put the person accountable, seek for efforts rather than results. You’re not asked how well you performed, but how much you tried. This distinction is meaningful because the words “did I do my best” inject personal ownership and responsibility into the Q&A process, which elicit further engagement with your goals. It’s simple yet efficient. Try it for yourself!
Write the questions that you should ask yourself every day. Even the process of writing questions will help you better understand your own values and how you live or don’t live them on a daily basis.
Here’s my list. I use a simple google sheet to track, but you can use anything. There’s even a Daily Questions app, which works great if you prefer tracking on your phone.
To take this process up a notch, have someone listen to your answers every day. This is what Goldsmith does - he goes on a 2-minute phone call with his assistant every night to have her ask him his daily 32 questions! It has been his daily tradition for years, and is his (not-so) secret weapon for keeping what is most important to him “in his head”.
Favourites of the Week:
Read: finished reading Triggers by Marshall Goldsmith
Watched: City Girl - a short film. I stumbled across the blog of Monique Song - a young Asian overlander, and proceeded to binge watching her videos and questioning if I should become an overlander... just kidding. But I always love coming across and peeking into different lifestyles and getting reminded by the endless possibilities to life, and just how much to the world I have yet to explore. City Girl is Monique’s winning short film based on the true story of how and why she started overlanding.
Listened: Naval Ravikant on Joe Rogan - I’ve listened to the podcast episode when it came out in 2019, but had to relisten/watch the interview again because the content is so condensed and there is so much of Naval’s wisdom to unpack. So thankful for this free content and would recommend it to anyone - you don’t need to be a “young male geek” to be listening to Naval!
Merry Christmas and stay safe! 🎄
Ingrid
P.S. Talk to me (via replying to this email or IG)! What do you like? What do you dislike? What do you want to see? Please help me get better :) If you want to help even more, send your friends a link to sign up for this newsletter!